Happy Wellness Wednesday Muses! I pray you all have been having a wonderful week so far. You’ve made it halfway through and for that, treat yourself to something that you love today.
I’ve never watched Parks & Rec, but this remains one of my favorite videos/gifs period.
So today, I want to speak on something that we’ve had variations of in a way and something that has been in my spirit given talks on social media and also this Reel I came across on Facebook. It’s hilarious:
In the Reel, which y’all should consider following them because some of these kids be OUTTA POCKET, but; they talk about how after a certain age kids in younger generations see us as “ancient,” old, or even “vintage.” I always wonder what the whole deal is about ageism and why we care so much about people’s ages and how it correlates with major achievements and/or success.
Oftentimes, and I’ve talked about it before, we equate how successful we are by how many major milestones we’ve hit before “25.” Baby, if this isn’t life’s biggest lie right next to “finishing in four” in college and being married with kids and a house by 30. Like, I can not explain enough how this stuff ends up leading us to feeling like failures at life no matter what we do or accomplish. It’s always going to feel like what we’re doing isn’t big enough, isn’t cool enough, or just isn’t enough period.
I remember after graduating high school how much this rhetoric really picked up. Finishing college by 22/23, a little longer if you go for your masters. Never pick an arts or liberal arts like degree because there’s no money in it, passion doesn’t pay bills, yada yada. That mindset really robs so many young adults of their 20s, which many view as the best period of their lives. They feel like they have to constantly be at motion, whether that be pursuing something academically or working. The talk of having your life figured out where you know who you are, found a person to settle down with, find a stable career, start having kids, buy a house, ya know; everything you hit on The Game of Life board game.
Once you start really experiencing life, you realize how not feasible this is.
For example, I’m 28 now, I’ll be 29 in December. I had my first child last year at 27. Don’t have a degree yet but working on it (pursuing Digital Marketing and then Meteorology.) Don’t have a vehicle of my own, just moved into a house this year (the biggest blessing left by my grandmother.) My fiancé and I have been engaged since 2021 and haven’t had our ceremony or anything yet, but we’re living together and everything already. I also enjoy working and schooling from home while being able to take care of our daughter without putting her in daycare.
Now, as you can see, I’m right on the cusp of 30. And I wouldn’t say I have my life all the way figured out yet. So many things I’m still learning, still getting the hang of things, still working towards certain things, still dreaming big and working on making those dreams a reality.
I really dream of having the confidence of a Bratz doll, so there’s that
There’s no definite timetable on doing everything that you want to do. There’s no great big book with a deadline to tell you it all has to be done by 25. I’m not even sure where we got 25 or our twenties were our prime from anyways. Most late 20-somethings and 30-somethings I know, myself included are still working on getting things the way they want it, some are recovering from the wildness of their early-20s, or just kind of coasting through life as it all begins to click into place as far as what they want. So many of us are starting new career paths, pursuing additional degrees due to figuring out what we’re passionate about is something worth pursuing, travelling to learn about different cultures through hands on experiences versus through someone else’s eyewitness account, and picking up new hobbies that make us feel complete.
I say all of this to say this. Look, there’s no shame in starting over once you feel the push to pursue something different, somewhere different. There’s nothing wrong with doing life “out of order” of the norm because the best thing is, it’s your order. This is way more important because it’s unique to you. Don’t worry about if you decide to pursue college later in life because you feel more prepared mentally, financially, or it’s just personal preference. Don’t feel bad for having kids later in life. While I wasn’t necessarily prepared to be a mom just yet, I adjusted. Unless the reason is medical or otherwise, you don’t have to be in a rush to have kids because everybody else is. If your “happily ever after” relationship hasn’t made itself known yet, don’t worry about it! It’ll come in due time and when it comes you’ll definitely know.
And for the love of everything, don’t feel the need to have to feel less than because what you feel like you got going on pales in comparison to others. First of all, don’t even compare what you got going on to other people in the first place. I know I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again because it’s true: comparison is the thief of joy.
I’m not going to lie, there was part of me that was dreading my ten-year high school reunion at one point because I know that a lot of my classmates have had a lot going on and have accomplished a lot. For that, I’m proud of them! But me being proud of them doesn’t come at a personal cost to myself. A lot of people refuse to be proud and happy for others because of where they feel like they lack. This just shouldn’t be the case. Don’t be afraid to clap for others. Be happy for everyone achieving success, happiness, and accomplishment regardless of what that looks like to each individual. Honestly, I’m quite excited to catch up with some of my classmates and cheer each other on through their different milestones in life. Here’s to ten years out the trap, Class of 2014!
Photo creds to my momma, she gave me a great Senior Year photo shoot
As I sit here on a random Wednesday in September, with another year of twenties to go. I’m already thinking about what I’m going to work on in this last year of my twenties to set up for an amazing act 30. Like baby, I plan on my 30s being SPECTACULAR.
I think the hype of 20s is overrated. Catch me in my 30s being finer than ever, happier than ever, more polished, accomplished, and just overall loving life more. Not saying my year 29 is going to be any less of these things as well, but, I’m just saying. All the magical feelings many reserve for their 20s is going to also reside in my 30s.
I just truly believe the time has come to overthrow the notion of being old once you hit the back end of your 20s as well. There is nothing old about 28. Some of the conversation younger generations have about millennials and such about our age is so unserious. I remember being younger (and still now) hearing certain ages and just saying we pray we’re able to see that age and more. Now, folks just say you’re old. Baby, I’m older, a little more seasoned, but not old. I’m just out here enjoying life with an extra digit added on my life counter.
All in all, I believe we all just need to take a deep breath and remember that everyone has a different path in life. Don’t worry about what’s not or is going on other folks streets. You should only be concerned with you and yours.
My granddaddy said this amazing quote that I still think about heavy:
“I spend six months of my year minding my business and the other six months of the year staying out of everyone else’s. That’s a whole year so I ain’t got time for anything else!”
That’s exactly how I feel about other folks timelines and such. Everyone is on their own journey and enjoying life while doing it. Whatever you haven’t done in your 20s, just push it to your 30s. But the biggest thing is, you can do whatever you want, whenever you want.
Honestly, there are people who cringe at the notion of romanticizing your life, however, I think that is exactly what you should do.
Romanticize the hell out of your life. Do things that you love, take pictures, record videos, buy the nice things you want, go on trips, treat yourself to solo dates, eat foods that make you happy, experience life in a way you’ve never done before, take care of your body, and just do the things you’ve always stopped yourself from doing. You don’t have to live in a big city to do this, nor have your life be your “perfect vision” to do so. Just live your life.
