As we prepare to enter a new year, you all know that for me, itβs never completely over until I reflect on what this year has brought and how I feel like I navigated the year.
Everything is all about perspective for me right now. I love to make sure I take some time to really reflect about what one year of life taught me and what I want to take into the next chapter but, with a fresher angle and perspective. I feel like this is something that helps you go into your next chapter of life feeling like youβve wrapped up the previous with a bow and opened up the new one as a present that keeps on giving until the next year. Itβs truly a way to feel like you never stop growing but also have a deeper appreciation for where youβve been.
In 2023, there have been more life-altering events than I thought Iβd see in a year of life. However, of course, you never have a way of knowing whatβs around every corner. Even more of a reason to know to move with the ebbs and flows of life and appreciate where life takes you next.
Although I lost my paternal grandma in 2022, the effects of her passing followed me well into 2023. Even today, part of me feels incomplete without her still. A lot of times, I can still hear her voice echoing through my head. Whether sheβs giving me advice or just soothing me through a tough mental time. Everything about her spirit still lives heavily within me, for that I am extremely thankful.
2023 held a lot of unexpected twists and turns. Looking back on it, all of them had their own meaning and reason, even if I couldnβt see it before.
In 2023; I didnβt just still feel the effects of losing my grandmother, but the effects of losing multiple family members in a seemingly short period. In addition to this; I navigated a major career pivot, restarting school in a different degree field, putting a pause on planning my wedding, falling out with a friend, grieving the loss of another one, reigniting and restrengthening my relationship with the Lord, and well, having a child. Out of all the things I just named, having a child was probably the most out-of-left-field thing I experienced in this year. But, while this year posed a lot of change, that felt like it had more of a negative impact than a positive one, there were a lot of positive sides to also look at and be thankful for.
One of the biggest things I accomplished this year was learning to live on the bright side. Around this time last year (well in 2022,) I tweeted the following:
While the year shaped out differently than I thought, I still feel like it was a year for living and I do feel like I indeed, lived.
Going back to what I said before about βlearning to live on the bright side,β that turned into the theme of my year while living was one of the words. I learned this past year of life to live on the bright side no matter what I was learning to find brightness in and this was a lesson that was needed in this year. Instead of letting the curveballs and unexpected in life derail me and sour my mental or mood, I learned to find whatever the bright side was and live in it. This for sure was a game changer for me and how I have chosen to view life in general moving forward.
One of the biggest examples of this was my career choice.
I was working in customer service at a job that I was good at and that I had convinced (keyword) that I truly loved. I had just celebrated my second year with the company when my career life began to pivot. The next thing I know, I was no longer in that role and learning to live with not being in a place where I spent five days a week. To be truthful, I was extremely bummed about it at first, Iβm not going to lie to you. Like I said, I had convinced myself that I loved that job, when in actuality, I loved the people. I loved helping people, I loved being around people, and building connections with people that I may have ordinarily not have connected with otherwise. I also had a tribe that I found in this space that I wouldnβt trade for anything. At the conclusion of that chapter, I then found myself in a space where I didnβt know what to do mentally with myself. I had given two years of myself to a role that I was no longer in, so mentally, I was thinking: βwhat next?β
Remember when I mentioned a tribe that I wouldnβt trade for anything? This moment in time right here is a moment that I feel like God decided to show out with showing me how my tribe would show up for me.
Living with my fiancΓ©, having my parents living close by, and my younger brother being a phone call away (heβs in college;) once this career pivot happened, I luckily had them to fall back on physically. I also had my tribe from work and my friends outside of work who were showing up for me to help me out mentally and emotionally as well. They all gave me the space necessary to βgrieveβ the abrupt end of the chapter but, then they also began to pull me back up. Your girl was down bad okay? I needed my village to bring me out of that place I was in. I needed them to remind me who the f*** I was because I had started to forget in that quick time.
However, keep in mind what I said about learning to live on the bright side. In this situation, I learned over a month later why this career pivot was one of the best things that could have happened to me in this period in my life.
That was July when my career pivot happened, but August was when I found out I was pregnant.
Imagine, in the heart of the summer in the middle of Alabama, I was carrying a baby and didnβt even know it. I spent the six months prior with no idea that I was pregnant and with little to no symptoms or signs. However, more on those exact specifics later. But, this career pivot became a blessing in disguise. My role that I had was that of a contractor, meaning the time was going to need in the weeks that followed, I wouldn’t have had, along with no benefits and that would have put a crunch on things financially for a while either way.
So, without losing that position, I wouldnβt have had the flexibility to leave and go to the appointments I needed to with the time frames being pretty liquid and not concrete. I ended up needing to travel back and forth from my city to another city for care for me and the little one. Once I understood that, I started living on the bright side of that situation. I now had time to fully take care of my prenatal needs, I had time and energy to prepare for having my first child, time and energy for fiancΓ© and I to mentally and emotionally prepare for being first-time parents. Thereβs a lot of stuff in between but thatβll be in another blog post.
You see what I mean though? I could have chosen to let that one moment in time destroy me and for a while, I was content on letting it do just that for a while. But, I learned to see the bigger and brighter picture. Now, it will definitely, never always be that easy. However, in this situation, I was able to see it. Iβm choosing to do that a lot moving forward.
As I look forward to 2024, I wonder *again* what the year and future will hold. I wonder what blessings will come, what twists and turns the year will take, what βbright sidesβ there will be to choose from and live in. All I know is that Iβm choosing to dance in that brighter light and not allow myself nor my inner magic to be dimmed by thinking negatively or letting a few bad situations dictate my outlook on life.
I urge you all to think similarly. This life is the one we have to live. We have a lot going on daily, weekly, and monthly. However, sometimes, we have to learn to seek what bright side there could be. Now, Iβm not a jaded optimist, I know there are some situations in which there may not be a bright side, but, there are plenty that will have one.
2023 was an interesting year to say the least, but boy did I learn a lot and grow a lot. Thereβs been accomplishments and pitfalls but they have all continued to mold me into the person that I am. Including restarting this space after losing it. Sucked but here we are right?
I pray that whatever 2023 brought you, some light was given to you as well. But I pray that 2024, is even brighter and we all have a little more sunshine to dance in.
With that, 2023, is officially wrapped. 2024, we can welcome you with open arms.
With Love,
Links
+ Listen: The Muse Mixx Vol. 1 on Spotify
+ Listen: The Muse Mixx Vol. 1 on YouTube
