Treating January Like My Free Trial: Deni’s Non-Negotiables for 2026

As we deep-dive further into the first month of the new year, intentions are being set, resolutions agreed upon, new habits formed, and the groundwork for truly making this year “ours” is in full swing. This is where my list of non-negotiables comes in.

After my birthday last month (I’ve been 30 for almost a whole month now!) I’ve been left feeling mentally different. Things I feel like I put up with throughout my twenties, both from myself and from other people, are no longer going to cut it for me anymore.

As a person who is attempting to heavily break a “people pleasing” habit and spirit, I’m reevaluating how I respond to things, what I allow in my personal orbit, what I’m willing to put up with, and what or who is currently in my life that no longer serves me. The journey I’m undergoing is one that is going to come with some highs and lows. It’s going to come with the feelings of loneliness, reflecting on what was, and mourning what could have been.

However, this isn’t necessarily all heavy or bad, sometimes it’s just when so many things happen in your life and come to head. You have to understand where you stand with yourself, the role you play in other people’s lives, and knowing when is the time to say when.

I have officially gotten to that point. I’ve been faced with times that have pushed me to reconsider my boundaries, my friendships with people, and how much energy I am giving when I am running on fumes myself. I guess you can say that parenthood pushed me to this point of reconsideration, but, getting older and hitting the “30” milestone has also pushed me to that point. I’m just tired of things that no longer are enriching me but, having a big part in my life. I’m also tired of feeling like what I do and what I want plays “player two” to the opinions of others.

All of these thoughts and more led me to make my list of “non-negotiables” for the year. I touched on this in my YouTube video, you can watch here) and I felt only right to talk about this over here versus YouTube where I could explain a little more without “time constraints.”

Strengthening My Faith:

This one is very important to me. I’ve always been a very spiritual person and grew up attending church, went to a Christian high school, and had my faith be a very integral part of my life. I wouldn’t say that it’s a lesser part now, I would say that because of the events of 2022, my faith was shaken just a bit. However, I’m extremely serious about getting myself back spiritually on track, and this is something I chose to share publicly because I feel like it’s an aura you should be able to feel from people through their actions and how they live their life. That being said, I heavily live by living and treating those the way we are called to. Meaning that there is no room for racism, homophobia, xenophobia, or like in your heart and be able to call yourself a Christian.

No More Shrinking Myself

I have long since been REALLY bad about this. I have felt in the past that I needed to dim my light in order to let those I love and support shine brighter. When really it should be more about clapping when it’s your turn to clap, supporting those you love, and being happy for everyone. I don’t believe people who truly love you in your life would be okay with you being less than in order to make them feel greater. It’s not my job to do wrong by myself to make others feel comfortable.

If it Conflicts With My Spirit, I’m Not Doing It/Going There/Being Friends With That Person

This is a serious boundary and I feel maybe the hardest one to maintain. A lot of times we want to go where we want and do whatever and be around the same crowds we may have always been. However, it’s important to know when to practice discernment and understand when people, places, or certain things no longer align with the person we have grown into being.

Taking Care of Myself Aesthetically

This has been a big one for me to commit to lately because it’s also working hand-in-hand with helping my postpartum feelings. When I feel put together physically, or in this case, aesthetically. I feel soooo much better. So, I’m promising myself to keep myself together! Making sure my hair stays done, nails and toes done and polished, staying dedicated to my skincare and making sure I stay on track with it, and starting to do better about working out.

Making Sure to Redefine Myself in Motherhood

This is something I have been struggling with since having my baby. The notion of “getting back to myself” or “getting my pink back” when what I really need to be doing is honoring who I am now and grow with “her.” Instead of trying to stuff who I am now into a storage box and attempt to go back, I really need to do better at remembering that I’m a mom but, it’s not my solo identity. But, also that it is okay, that there are more days where I’m more momma than I am Deni the creative, or Deni the college student, but that all of those are parts of me. Just like motherhood is now. Shoutout to Quayla for this intentional tidbit from her IG story the other day.

Investing in My Mental Health

(The video is messed up somehow 🙄) Mental Health regulation is a huge thing for me because so many things tie into your mental health. Everything from postpartum feelings, anxiety, regular overthinking, etc. One of my biggest pledges is to do better by my mental health because I deserve that and then some. One of the biggest things is keeping up my journalling ecosystem with audio journalling, traditional written journalling, a written bible study journal, and then utilizing my phone journal for quick thoughts & venting sessions. I’ll also use it for dream journaling as well because I like tracking my dreams and looking for symbolism. I also have a subscription to Headspace through my school and I’m going make sure I am working on consistently doing meditation. I’m also going to look into doing therapy sessions through my school.

Being More Mindful of What I Consume

Social Media can definitely be entirely too much at times. On top of knowing when to unplug, I have also just been paying more attention to curating my feeds for what I actually want to see, so that I see a lot less mess.

Staying Creative

This is going to be my key to consistency but, also just keeping my creative mind going and flowing.

Finding and Enjoying – Joy & Peace

Simply put, there is enough chaos and turmoil going on. A lot I can’t personally control and very bothersome, but, finding joy allows me to escape for a little.

As someone who has long since said that “this year is my year,” I’m determined to actually make that a reality this time around. Putting the actual work in to make that happen instead of waiting around for things to fall in my lap the right way.